When you think fashion shows, you probably think of all the glamor. The celebrities hob-nobbing with effeminate designers. Society's elite sitting next to the runway, looking shrewdly at the clothes that will be all the rage next year. Champagne, glitz, supermodels, and money everywhere.
None of those things are at a Dillard's fashion show in the mall.
In fact, I can think of very few reasons you would attend such a fashion show. Basically, the list goes:
A) You are related to one of the models.
B) You are a friend of one of the models.
C) You work for Dillard's and you're pissed because you have to work on Saturday.
Now, if these models had been leggy supermodels, I think the turnout would have been a lot higher, but since this was a fashion show for clothing for young girls, the only guys coming out to soak up the sex appeal were dirty old men. The rest of us were there to be supportive.
For the record, my daughter's best friend was modeling a dress and fake leather jacket, so my daughter asked me to take her. I was not there in any pedophilial capacity. I thought it sounded like the kind of kooky event that would make a decent article. My mistake, and now you know how boring my weekend was when the most exciting thing I did was go to a fashion show in the mall.
The whole thing was kind of an exercise in self-indulgence, and I would be surprised to find out that Dillard's sold enough dresses to pay for the show. A full third of the clothing was cheesy prom dresses, the satiny kind that girls think make them look like red-carpet celebrities, but really just looks like they would match the rented tuxedo worn by their pimply date to the homecoming dance. I admit to knowing virtually nothing about fashion, and even less about fashion for teenage girls, but either I'm getting pretty old (and that's a very likely possibility) or Dillard's is not a good place to pick out fashionable attire. I think it might be a combination of the two. This was not Milan, I'll tell you that.
I'm not sure how this modeling thing works for teenage girls. It looked like the show was put on by a third-party, second-rate modeling firm, and the girls probably had to pay for their spot. They got head shots out of it - my daughter's friend wound up with a package of photographs that looked remarkably like the kind of thing you get at Glamour Shots (also in the mall, by the way). I do know they didn't get to keep the clothes, because my daughter's friend was disappointed that she didn't get to buy the dress she modeled (she was fine with not getting the jacket - even a 13-year-old girl knew that fake bomber jackets haven't been cool since Indiana Jones was fighting Nazis).
The best part about the show was that it was over in half an hour. My daughter hugged her friend, being careful not to get makeup on her shirt, and then we went out for Chinese food at one of those absolutely horrible buffets where they serve a whole lot of dishes that all taste bad but you still wind up eating too much, probably because they have cobbler. Super Mega Dinner Buffet, or something.
So my recommendation? If your daughter asks you to take her to the fashion show in the mall so that she can support her friend, see if you can get the wife to go. That way you can sit home and bogart the television while the house is empty.
It's good to do stuff with your kids that doesn't involve dice or meeples
A great opportunity to see clothes you should not buy
Cheesy clothes will remind you that you're too old
None of the models are old enough to be hot
Barely worth mentioning, and would have gone unmentioned if I had done anything even remotely interesting this weekend